my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
why do cheetos always look like penises
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
