dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
