I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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