Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have post one night stand depression
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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