Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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