i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
