He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
