you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
