I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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