Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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