I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
