So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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