1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
