dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
