We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
