1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think my moral compass just broke
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