Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm just crazy horny about you
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
