who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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