You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
