brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
