i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
