Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He better not be in your backpack
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
