Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
