She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
