I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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