It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I will pee on everything he values.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize