I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
