Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
