There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
