the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize