i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
