another moral hangover. fuck.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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