At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
