Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
