During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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