If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have post one night stand depression
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
