he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
