he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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