Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize