Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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