do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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