Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
