Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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