As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
