Too much gin, very little bucket
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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