The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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