I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
