i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
