i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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