Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
