she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
