he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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