dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize