after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
