; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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