paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
