I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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