any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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