talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
