haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
