between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize