4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize