was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
